Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Yogurt and Granola

It's kinda grey today. I was hoping for rain, just because, but none yet.
It's ok. They will surely come. There's news of a storm brewing down south.

Last night as he and I were preparing to drift off to sleep I asked him a question I've asked him many times before:

"Hey hon, what are you dreams, hopes and fears?"
He said he dreamed to watch our kids grow while growing old with me.
Perfect, I thought.
His hopes were the same and when I asked him his fears he said he didn't have any.
I thought that was beautiful and I agreed with him. For I too, didn't seem to feel any fear.

Which reminded me that I've been feeling really good lately. I'm in love with my family. We take care of one another and have each other's back. Nothing compares to the feeling of knowing you are exactly where you are meant to be with exactly the people you are meant to be with.
I love it.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Negativity: stay away from me!!

When in conversations with family members I begin to notice a pattern. Negativity. Someone wants to talk about someone bad they're doing, noting a change in their voices towards sadness when doing so, I begin to wander off in my mind--wanting the subject to change, wanting to scream and run away. I also notice how these conversations have a lasting effect on me. I get all down and dumpy and wonder what they're saying about ME since they enjoy criticizing others so much--then comes the over-self-analyzing. Picking out everything that could possibly suck about me--being relentless on my journey of ripping myself to shreds.

I don't want to be this way!!

So from here on out I'm going to be more conscious of it--negativity. I'm going to put my hand up to it---and ask it to kindly stop.

My choice is simple....