Oren’s Birth Story

 

　

Today, Oren is one week old. For someone so young he has already triumphed over enough to call him a Champion. I have had a week of resting to think on and rehash everything that happened. Some things blurred by the speed of how things unfolded so if I got some things mixed-up, I hope you’ll forgive me. Though we did not get the birth setting that we planned on, we did get Oren. And that supersedes all expectations of time and setting.

Here goes:

On the evening of Monday, April 22^nd I felt my first real contraction. It was subtle but having been dealing with Braxton Hicks, I knew this was no Braxton Hicks. Excited, I started thinking that possibly in the next day or two I would be holding our son. But the next day came, with more, even stronger contractions-- except with no real consistency. Then the next day we had an appointment to see the mid-wife. She checked baby’s position which he was still posterior signaling this could be a long (and I learned a new term) prodromal labor. She suggested we go home, rest, do some rebozo and see what happens.

Nothing but more irregular contractions happened.

Which was so frustrating and sleep depriving.

Though I rested on excitement and joy to keep me from getting negative I could not help but think something was wrong at times. I’d cry, maybe from just being plain old tired or perhaps being scared to death. A week had passed since that first “real” contraction and we still had not had a baby. Seth had taken time from work to be with me--which was turning out to be pointless. I was feeling guilty and wimpy…two emotions I don’t do well with.

Then one morning I woke up drenched in sweat with some serious pressure being felt. This was Friday--May 3--around 7 AM. Almost two weeks later.

This was it.

We made the phone call. Got everything in order. Checked the temperature of the hot tub. Put the soup on the stove. We had everything together and we were rocking it out. Feeling an energy and excitement that you only feel when you are preparing to have a baby. It was beautiful. We went for walks around the yard. My man held me close when I’d feel those contractions come on stronger than ever and held my hand every other time. I love him so much.

The Midwife came. They checked me out. I was 6cm dilated. Woohoo, this could happen really fast. Or so we thought. I labored in the hot tub until it started thundering. A storm came, of course, just like it had with Esten. In the middle of it all though, I noticed things. Like, no one was able to get a signal to call out. I looked to Seth, with worry and a question. “What if something goes wrong and they can’t call for help in time?” Negative energy was there and it was feeding me thoughts and worries. I knew. It was just that I wasn’t aware of my knowing at the time. Seth talked me back into the light. He reassured me that everything would be ok. He kissed my face, held me close, did everything he was created to do in that situation. The rain had let off a little so we got back in the hot tub. The midwife checked me again, this time, she accidentally broke my water. Stronger contractions came. I, pushing, felt no progress, no descend.

Then something odd occurred. She wanted to hear the baby’s heart tones while I had a contraction. Later telling me, that was about the time she started to think something wasn’t right. He wasn’t moving down.

Still higher than expected.

We got out of the hot tub.

She got her birthing stool and I sat on it for what felt like a minute or two. That’s all it took for her to hear that Oren’s heart rate had dropped to 60 bpm. That wasn’t good. Her voice was different now. She told her assisting midwife to get the oxygen and minutes after that she sent out word to call 911.

Now, I had never been administered oxygen in an emergency-like situation. Seth held the mask to my face and I just wasn’t getting the necessary amount of air to take those “long deep breaths” I was being told over and over again to take. I was half wondering “Am I doing this right?” and “Is this thing on?” the whole time. And because of this extreme circumstance, panic came over me like nothing I had ever felt. My chest tightened. I was taking only half deep breaths which wasn’t good enough. I was listening to my baby’s heart rate, trying to stay calm, wanting so badly to get him out of my body so he could be safe in my arms. I saw the lights of the arriving EMS truck flashing on the bedroom wall. Heard the voices of strangers asking those important questions. I was scared and leaving the moment. The moment I was trying so hard to stay in to make the next moment count. I felt like I was sinking into darkness and the only things really keeping me from falling completely was the sound of that baby’s heartbeat, my daughter’s voice ringing out through the room with “I love you Mom!” and Seth’s tear-filled eyes, his face framed in light, his voice begging me not to give up. I couldn’t give up. Lord knows, after every push that brought no progress I thought about it. But it’s hard to give up when you’ve got so much to thrive for. Oren’s heart rate had dropped only that one time. Every time after that it was normal and good. But he still wasn’t coming down. Our Midwife suspected a chord issue, knew he was posterior. These things were working against us.

They were working against me.

I never felt so weak.

The EMS guys called for a helicopter. Due to us living so far out, maybe they thought if things were to go further south they would need a quicker way to transport. Then this is where it all gets blurry. My Midwife told me to make the call, if I wanted to keep trying at home or to go to the hospital. I had only a second to ask my gut and my gut said something isn’t right, you need to go.

I couldn’t breathe for what felt like forever so as soon as I got into the EMS truck and they put a mask to my face that had the cleanest freshest air, flowing into my lungs did I start to feel like I had the energy to do what I needed to do. Seth was still over me, talking to me, his voice so soft and encouraging yet frightened. He was scared, I could hear it in his pleas. But I could breathe, the panic was subsiding. In just moments, very long and worked moments it seemed, I would have that second wind to rear my body up and push like I had pushed Esten, to push like I had pushed Madelyn…out into this world.

And push I did.

When Oren was born, he had to have fluid pumped out of his lungs. I saw our midwife working on him, I was elated to see his lips quivering. I thanked God and everyone in that truck over and over again. Born posterior. He had a “true knot” in his chord. Days later the Mid-wife told me had that chord been wrapped around his neck WITH that true knot, it could have been a whole other story.

At 8:40 on a Friday night, 13 hours and 40 minutes after waking up, drenched in sweat, our son was born. He was born in an ambulance, on a road in the country. He was born with so much wisdom in his eyes and a story waiting to be told on his lips.

Our midwives never left our side. I have so much love for those ladies. They believed in me and truth be told, I needed every bit of their belief.

Our family of families sent out a many a prayer that night and I sincerely believe all of that energy concentrated our way did the miraculous. I'll be forever grateful to Seth's Mom and Sister, our most supportive of support teams.

I sit with my son cuddled close to my chest now, tears falling...I’m oh so grateful.

***

I think about the bound together chapters the story of our life has. This chapter gives so much profundity to all of the others. Especially to the one of Seth and I meeting. Who would have thought that at a party at a friend’s house you would meet the man you’d share so much with. Who would by all accounts keep you from sinking into the depths of such a fearful place to bring your child into the world. I am grateful for every line in every chapter already written with him.

And I look forward to the next turning pages and everything we, this rocking family of FIVE, will fill them in with.

　

　

Your breath is a blessing. It is a most powerful blessing. I, for one, will never ever forget that.

It is never "just another day" around here. (Photographic Reminders)

 

Take time with one another. Create the special stuff.

 

 Explore, fearlessly.

 

 

Wear funky rain boots whenever you get the chance.

 

Run through a yard of wet grass on barefeet, boundlessly.

 

 

Play. Run. Smile.

 

 

Let the light of others in and warm you right up.

 

Follow. Lead. Keep going.

 

Recipe: Honey Balsamic Vinaigrette

In an attempt to be a little more frugal, make due with what I have on me and get a little creative all at the same time I made a vinaigrette that turned out to be super good. I put all of the ingredients into a mason jar for storage also making for an easy to shake to container.

Ingredients:
1/4 c.Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 c. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
3 tbl spoons of Honey
Chopped basil
pinch of thyme
dash of kosher salt
dash of black pepper

Shake well.
Serve over the most beautiful salad you can make.

note:
Apples compliment the depths of balsamic really well.

Hope you enjoy this quick and simple vinaigrette. It definitely has me thinking I'll never go back to store bought dressings again!
~

For the Love of Baking Soda

As parents we're constantly battling and on many fronts losing this grotesque war against the Chemical Industry who sees nothing wrong with manufacturing products that are known to be horrible for us and the Environment. 

Many cleaning products as well as personal hygiene products contain cancer causing carcinogens and/or toxins that cause a variety of abnormalities. They're lurking in everyday things..Shampoo, Deodorant, Household Cleaners. 
Most of the time we think as long as the product isn't being ingested then all is safe but the sick truth is our skin and respiratory tract are taking most of it in without us even really paying much notice. And whats worse is that our kids are being subjected to heavier concentrations of these toxins because simply they're smaller than we are and not fully developed.

Having a clean home and smelling okay shouldn't kill you in the long run. It's just not a fair trade. So why not get back to the basics?

There was a time before everything just had to smell lemony fresh that clean was clean. If you've ever seen a big ol' box of baking soda at your Granny's house then you just might know what I'm talking about. I use it to bake with and clean with.. It's so all around, I've come to depend on it. What makes it just the ultimate of all ultimates is how safe it is. 
Baking Soda has been around for a while, garnering it much credibility. It has roots all the way back to Ancient Egypt. Whats more is that it is naturally derived. There are no hidden or hard to pronounce ingredients. In it's most simplest explanation it's aerated salt. 

It is so versatile the list of ways to use it could stretch out very long but here are a few uses for Baking Soda I choose all of the time.

1. It makes a beautifully mild face and body scrub. Not too abrasive at all and whatever the skin type, it does what it was born to do....neutralize! You'll walk away with your skin feeling all kinds of clean without the residue left behind by synthetic ingredients.

2. Jewelry Cleaner. I put 1 to 2 tablespoons of baking soda in a mason jar containing 4 oz. of water, stir and put my bracelets in and let them sit for a few. Whatever bit of tarnish or dullness there was, is now no more.

3. Pot and Pan Scrub. Yep, when I'm standing over the sink working on the pot that stayed on the stove a little too long or the pan that wasn't oiled enough I get out the baking soda. Baking Soda and elbow grease combined will get your cookware back in tip top shape!

4. Toothpaste and Mouthwash. As a gentle abrasive it scrubs away plaque and neutralizes the bacteria that hangs out on your tongue and gums. If fluoride already freaks you out, this makes an excellent alternative.

5. Laundry Detergent booster. I add a 1/2 cup of baking soda along with the recommended amount of detergent according to my settings. It boosts the cleaning power and aids in neutralizing the bacteria that causes the odors.

So there you have it. 5 Simple to implement uses for Baking Soda that I hope you give a try. In many cases Baking Soda will clean 10 times better than many commercial products but most importantly you will be reducing the amount of toxins you bring in to your home. It's a hard battle but well worth it. 

Other uses:

Shampoo booster
Kitchen sink scrub
Tub Scrub
Taking the sting out of a bug bite when mixed into a paste.
Chrome Cleaner
Oven/Range Cleaner
Battery Cleaner
Carpet Deodorizer

Notes.

It has rained nearly everyday now--I love and appreciate not having to turn the sprinklers on for the garden. Working that pump just a little less, saving energy and money!


A previous idea of putting the (rain) barrel by the garden for large scale worm tea turned out to be not a good idea....So I'm moving it to the front of the house--where there's a gutter--to collect all this rain!
40% chance today. Happy about that.

Picking okra and eggplant daily now. I'm really happy about how the eggplant are growing. Last year we grew them using 5 gallon buckets as a self-watering system. It gave us plenty of eggplant BUT the plants themselves were restricted....growing them in the ground has given them ample space to branch out. The plants are good and big, so much so, that with the rain we've been having they've been staked up to keep them from falling over and keeping the fruit off of the ground.
Frying eggplant for Father's Day:) Yum!

I'm picking tomatoes while green and letting them ripen on the counter. Some of the tomatoes are bursting open from so much water--rain. What I've learned is to take my chances with the frosts and start seeds in January. With tomatoes AND cukes. We didn't get any where near the amount of cukes we've harvested in previous years--it was pitiful--and the only difference was in previous years I was on it, had seeds starting in the closet underneath a light when it was still "winter"...this year I wanted to play it safe with these heirloom seeds---lesson learned!

There's a large section that was recently tilled--We're going to plant legumes a'plenty...More black eyes, green beans and even some limas.

I've got 4 blueberry bushes that have been seriously cut back. I'm researching the appropriate soil for them to determine where they should be planted. I'd love to have at least one side of the garden lined with berry bushes. Still have plans for a small orchard one day.

It's easy to get distracted most of the time. There are so many small plans that are had to lead up to, or in making up, the master plan: To be self-sustained. I figure if we can tackle as many small things as possible eventually we'll get there....But there are also other things to take care of.

Self-sustainability and frugality go hand in hand. Much of the problems we face financially as a society are caused from people living essentially beyond their means. Wanting "things" causes the most suffering, I've discovered. But my wanting a wholesome life for my kids overrides that. I ache for them to appreciate the little things and not to take anything for granted. Sometimes I feel like I'm failing--but other times I feel so hopeful that they're "getting it".

Sometimes I worry that by us moving out here, we've solidified a future of solitude.  But that can't be. If anything we've moved to a place that could become a haven for other's. A place to go to for a smile and maybe even a full belly. Possibly?

Really all I know is I want to learn to feel the seasons change on my skin and to teach my kids that working with the earth, trusting in her to provide by offering our humble sweat is the best start for any lifetime full of gratitude and appreciation. That slowing down provides more time to see and appreciate all of the beauty. I don't want them to be afraid of work--I want them to jump in, get dirty and get stuff done.

Here's to the journey!
♥

Ease Up.

Eventually you'll run out of reasons for the reasons of why you feel a certain way. You'll have traced it all the way back to it's source and say to yourself or anyone who cares to listen, "A-ha!!" Maybe you will be in the shower with shampoo just enough in your eye to hurt a little and you'll be there...Alone and naked. Appropriately so, with absolutely nothing between you and the truth.

The Truth:

It's you. It all began with you. You do what you do then you take all of the doings of everything and everyone else in. A constant transfer is taking place between you and the beautiful and on occasion effed up world. We feel happy about the good things that happen and get all grudgey about the bad. Easy responses totally, yet they can cause so much unnecessary weight.

So...

You can't rationally change the fact that you were born. You can't change the fact that things happen and sometimes they're good and sometimes they suck. That's the way it is. It's just happening.Whatever it is will be over and then something else will happen. Good or bad. Right or wrong.  After your actions go out, your control over what you get back leaves too. But that's ok. You're not in this for control. You're in this to be happy. Happy and Control have a hard time co-existing in the real world.
The only way, I'm thinking, to get out alive here is to just let the shit happen, let the chips fall where they may. Do your best to do right in the world and after that you can rest your head knowing that you tried...

We'll most definitely screw it up more times than we'd like but if we can keep it up...

...practice just might make perfect...

 right?

Who am I kidding!!

♥

Elixir for the Soul

"Happiness depends upon ourselves." —Aristotle

Wanna kill the bad vibes and get over you shit? Turn the Grrrrr into something great and groovy?
Well get grateful for all of the not so bad stuff going on in your life. Because folks it could be worse and if you're not counting your blessings then you are definitely letting them go unappreciated.
You get one shot at this life and every second you're not doing something to either benefit you, your family, the world around you then you are choosing to not put yourself to use. Thereby making yourself feel useless....


You're in control. You're doing it. Stop being a jerk to yourself and get on with living the best life you can possibly live. Make better choices to get a better outcome.

Easy Peasy:)

Inspiration:

• Cut bad people out of the mix if all they do is bring you down.
• Stand up for yourself!! If someone hurts you it's better to let them know and go from there instead of wishing you had and kicking yourself for not.
• Take up some sort of exercise regimen. Really. Being active is a definite mood booster.
• Spend more time outside. We weren't created to be secluded indoors all day. 
• Get out of your head. It's the thinking and judging that keeps you bound to old habits. You're trying to set yourself free!!!
•  Do something you really love to do. That you can't imagine not doing. That is just as much a part of you than anything else. 

again...."Happiness depends upon ourselves." —Aristotle

Get to it.
♥

~Offering~

This song has really been speaking to me. As someone who tends to turn inward when feeling less than joyful I have to remind myself of the process and be welcoming to all of the layers of emotionalism I can go through. The process is a beautiful process that serves to teach us how to love more. Love the moment that you're in like an old friend who is leaving forever. It's taking a part of you with it and depending on the weight of the situation you may not ever be the same. Be wide awake because life and all of its majestic begs you to be---it wants to be appreciated--it calls on us at a constant to remember how beautiful just life, JUST LIFE--not to mention all of the groovy stuff that comes along with it--is. With the always pondering eyes of children, the making of love with a mate of the soul, the rising and setting sun, the stacking of clouds, the blooming of flowers and their perfume, that round full moon, the song of creatures and the hand of a friend....we are being nudged. 

Let it all wake you.

This life and everything painfully beautiful enveloped in it deserves a song and dance of devotion. 

Give it one. Give it your own. 

♥

I feel part of the universe open up to meet me

My emotion so submerged, broken down to kneel in

Once listening, the voices they came

Had to somehow greet myself, read myself

Heard vibrations within my cells, in my cells

Singing, "Ah-la-ah-ah, ah-la-ah-ah"

My love is safe for the universe

See me now, I'm bursting

On one planet, so many turns

Different worlds

Singing, "Ah-la-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah, ah"

Fill my heart with discipline

Put there for the teaching

In my head see clouds of stairs

Help me as I'm reaching

The future's paved with better days

Not running from something

I'm running towards the day

Wide awake

A whisper once quiet

Now rising to a scream

Right in me

I'm falling, free falling

Words calling me

Up off my knees

I'm soaring and, darling,

You'll be the one that I can need

Still be free

Our future's paved with better days 

Eddie Vedder- "Better Days"

Odetta's Tears---part of the very rough rough draft.

I started writing a story 5 years ago. I forgot all about it and found it in my drafts folder this morning... 

Odetta's Tears

We decided to leave early enough to get some shut eye for work the next day.

Believe it or not, Chet's Place serves breakfast, so I had to be there early enough to prepare the kitchen for the morning rush of folks.  I hadn't found a room yet so Odetta told me to crash on her couch. I was much obliged, and quite happy to have found a friend so soon in this town. With R.D. back in Tupelo, or wherever he made himself off to, it gets quite lonely as far as company is concerned.

Odetta's place was located above a mechanic's garage. The outside was a poor site to see, mostly galvanized steel that had rusting rings in various spot. Once we walked through the glass paneled door I discovered Odetta had a true talent for art. The walls were covered with brilliant murals--painted in bright colors that the light of the moon illuminated. I felt lucky to be here. Like I was seeing something no one else had ever seen. She noticed the amazement on my face. "I never really let people up here", she said, shyely. 

"Why not, its beautiful?", I beamed.  The modest Odetta was embarrassed and uncomfortable with my compliments. I noticed she had a banjo sittin in the corner. Without knowing it, I walked over and picked it up. "Do you play", she asks. "A little", I said as I begin to play my amateure version of Orange Blossom Special. Just then Odetta starts belting out the words.."Well look A-yonder comin' comin' on down the track...." Out of sheer shock I stopped playing. It was great. I began to wonder to myself what her story was. There was a pause, I saw it as an opportunity to ask what happened to her. I mean something must have happened. All this talent, and she's more or less stuck in a town that will lead her no where. "So Odetta, where were you headed before you decided to stay here?", I asked. "My cousin lives twenty miles outside of Raleigh and she wanted me to come out and help at the local store she owns. It ain't that far from the city, so I thought I could try to get some gigs at the local clubs." 

"Well what happened?" Persistence was apparent in my questions, and she notices. "Well", she says somewhat agitated, "I think thats a story for another day". Thowing me a quilt, I fold out the beige couch and lay down. I fell asleep that night looking at a painting of a baby with yellow flowers in her hands. She wore a black dress. She was smiling.

We woke to a loud beating on the door the next morning. "What the hell?", Odetta mumbled coming out of her room through the living room past me, to the door. I pick my head up to see who it is knockin' this early.  Opening the door with "G'mornin' Mr. Strictor", Odetta pulls the belt of her robe tighter . "Do you have the rent, Odetta? I've been waiting for you to come by, but its been two weeks now, and I haven't heard from ya." The agitated Mr. Strictor, the apparent Landlord was a short man, though his voice was that of a large man. You'd never guess he was no taller than 5 ft by the way his voice boomed. I began to get my sorts together for the day when I heard Odetta crying. She was telling him that she needed a couple of days more. "Well Odetta", he snapped, "please call me as soon as you have the money for rent." He felt the need to add. "Nobody lives for free ya know." "Okay sir, Thank you." Odetta moused her way into the kitchen and let out a great sighe. Having heard the whole thing, I think about what I could possibly do to help. After all, she has been so kind to me.

"Sorry you had to hear that Shiner", Odetta apologizes. "I've been having a hard time these days, and fell behind on my rent." "How far behind?" I asked. I need fifty dollars to break even, she says. I paused for a moment and said "Well Odetta, instead of me renting a room, how bout I rent that couch from ya? That way, I can have someone to talk to and you can get the money you need a little faster." She smiles hesitantly and says "That seems fine with me, you sure you wouldn't rather have a place to yaself?"  "Yep", says I. "I think you're an alright gal, and I'm sure going to sleep looking at your walls would be far less depressing than looking at the cigarrette stained, soulless walls of any of these hotels."

"Alright, Shiner, if your alright with it, I could sure use the help."                       

And that was that. 




Written by Kelina Nelson 2006

The Rise and Fall

(KN 2012)

WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN.

So take care when you build others up. You're only giving them further to fall. No one is perfect. Eventually we will all take turns in some way or another at disappointing one another. It's only with healthy views and expectations that we keep the disappointment down to a minimum. Be open to forgiveness and more than anything give up some slack. We all need it:)

Falling Apart

Source: KN 2011

Sometimes Things Fall Apart.

Friendships fall apart. Love falls apart. Families, they fall apart too. Is it hopeless when this happens? Was it just how it was supposed to be? I think, regarding interpersonal relationships, just like anything ill-built it needs to fall apart for something good, solid and stable to be built in it's place. Any relationship you may have that falls apart is an example of something poorly built up in the first place. Whether through lies, betrayal, silence or even something as innocent as distance, some things just aren't meant to hold and these are the hints of that. I believe wholly that you have to let it fall apart and scatter just to get to the part where something awesome and stronger rises up. Allow yourself to move with grace through the pain of the moment and onward to the next phase of building. You've learned a lot from that last fall. Though you might still be hurting too much to see it yet. You know what you did last time that engaged the demise. Were you quiet about things that bothered you? Were you afraid of setting boundaries? Did you just not pick up the phone and call, those times you actually did think about it. Did things happen and happen and instead of calmly letting your feelings and thoughts be heard you chose to sever ties? It has to happen, if it happens at all.

After a good fall, when something you've been holding onto has released from your grasp and hit the floor, scattering, I suggest you remain hopeful. Don't get too bummed out. It'll pass. The only conscious part you really have to take in this is the building thereafter. The next time you see a relationship with someone leading a certain direction have the courage to speak up. If it's worth salvaging you have got to speak up. You have got to do your part whether by keeping in touch, setting boundaries or just letting your voice be heard about something, you've got to do it.

You have to save whats worth saving and let go of what isn't. This is your happiness we're talking about, afterall.

Let Down Your Guard

Source: Joy Russi 2011

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."

                                                                    ~Lao Tzu

I was on a Roller Coaster when I concluded that I am all too guarded. When the coaster climbed upwards I anticipated what was to come. I feared the drop, dreaded it. After the second climb and fall I told myself, I mean, I said it aloud: "Kelina, you just have to let go." And so I did...I became one of those people with arms raised. You know, the raised armed coaster riders you see and probably are yourself. I never was! I thought they were all crazy people. Until Christmas Eve. Then I started thinking about how being guarded and fearful, permeates your life. Always anticipating the next move, afraid of what might happen and if you have a mind like mine all sorts of horrible things can happen. Then you miss out on cool opportunities because ultimately you're a chicken shit. So, really, the only choice here is to let go. Let go and enjoy the ride. Throw your hands up in the air and smile and scream out a "Hell Yeah" because eventually you will die. But not right now. Right now, you're gonna fall and rise and rise and fall and shit will come your way but if you're happy and not big on holding on to negativity then I think, no...no I KNOW you're gonna be just fine.

We're all gonna be ok as long as we want to be ok.
Every single moment gives you an opportunity. You can enjoy it, making the most of it with arms and heart and mind and soul completely open....OR you can clinch up and close up and let is pass you by. And pass you by it will...but not for long...you have a pause to realize what the next opportunity will do for you. It can do so much--no, not just for introverted deep thinkers such as this gal, but for everyone! Get ready to surprise yourself. Once you pass through, unscathed, you'll want more and more and more.

Let down your guard. Let the awesome and amazing happen. Be a Badass.

They have more fun:)

Limitless

You're Only as Limited as You Think (keep telling yourself) You are.

It's a foolish notion to believe that you'll never "be anything" in life. For you already are!! You might not have a ton of money or the guy or gal you specifically thought you'd settle down with or whatever your direct hang-up is...but get over it! Life, is life. You have one and that's something pretty amazing. Yet it's so damn temporary that there just isn't enough time to sit and think about the "lack" for too long. It's time to move on and move up from what you keep learning about yourself and your existence.
You're breathing.
So Far, So Good.
~Onward.

Notes on Elimination Communication

When I first read about EC I was half way through my pregnancy. This being my second child I was aware of the many things I wanted to try that I hadn't before. Immediately, I was fascinated with the idea of a baby's ability to communicate his elimination needs and the parent's ability to respond effectively. My partner and I were already in agreement that I would quit my job and stay home to mother the baby and my oldest. This made the idea of consistency much easier than if I were working.

When our son was born I didn't think about ECing at all. I was just taking it all in. Nursing. Co-Bedding. I started cloth diapering him at a month old. It wasn't until at about 3 or 4 months that I started putting him on the toilet "just to see" what would happen. In many cases nothing would happened or I was just too late getting him there. My mistake in many of these situations was second guessing him.

At just before 5 months we were finally successful. When I say successful I don't just mean I got him on the pot in time. I mean, I understood what he was communicating. I knew he had to go, I didn't second guess, I got him there, cued him on what he was doing and praised him for doing so well. (I even praised myself a little too;)

Since then, we've kept it up with only two "accidents" in his diaper. Needless to say folks, I'm a certified believer. I've become so passionate about this. It definitely carries over into all aspects of my parenting journey. Listening with my heart to the needs of my children is easier than once thought. Putting that ol' Mother's Intuition into play at a constant is completely necessary in the foundation of this journey.

I totally encourage all new and experienced mamas to give it a try!!

Here are some notes on what I've observed to be useful and what I pay attention to:

• Don't second guess---if you think he's/she's about to go make your way to the pot. This will help them establish what they already know: it feels much better to poop or pee in something other than their diaper and on themselves. The key is giving them the option!
• Having a baby bottom sized pot seat is extremely useful/helpful if your baby is already sitting up on their own--but if not it's always easy just to hold them in between your thighs as you yourself sit on the pot.
• Baby wipes in the bathroom are a must!
• Giving cues like poo poo or pee pee will help synchronize with the urges they are feeling thus teaching them what exactly it is they are doing and where they should be doing it.
• Don't forget to praise!! Babies loved to be clapped for and cheered on no matter what they are doing---so feel free to let them know how proud of them you are!!
• And if at first you don't succeed, keep trying. Not giving up is possibly the most important advice I can give.

Developing these habits with your baby creates a sweetly shared bond while breaking out of societal/parenting norms is exactly the medicine needed in building a more progressive society.

No matter where your journey takes you, enjoy the journey and be a part of making the journey for others enjoyable.

With all my love,

♥~This Gal

Yogurt and Granola

It's kinda grey today. I was hoping for rain, just because, but none yet.

It's ok. They will surely come. There's news of a storm brewing down south.

Last night as he and I were preparing to drift off to sleep I asked him a question I've asked him many times before:

"Hey hon, what are you dreams, hopes and fears?"

He said he dreamed to watch our kids grow while growing old with me.

Perfect, I thought.

His hopes were the same and when I asked him his fears he said he didn't have any.

I thought that was beautiful and I agreed with him. For I too, didn't seem to feel any fear.

Which reminded me that I've been feeling really good lately. I'm in love with my family. We take care of one another and have each other's back. Nothing compares to the feeling of knowing you are exactly where you are meant to be with exactly the people you are meant to be with.

I love it.

Negativity: stay away from me!!

When in conversations with family members I begin to notice a pattern. Negativity. Someone wants to talk about someone else...how bad they're doing, noting a change in their voices towards sadness when doing so, I begin to wander off in my mind--wanting the subject to change, wanting to scream and run away. I also notice how these conversations have a lasting effect on me. I get all down and dumpy and wonder what they're saying about ME since they enjoy criticizing others so much--then comes the over-self-analyzing. Picking out everything that could possibly suck about me--being relentless on my journey of ripping myself to shreds.

I don't want to be this way!!

So from here on out I'm going to be more conscious of it--negativity. I'm going to put my hand up to it---and ask it to kindly stop.

My choice is simple....

happiness.